Mom Time Management 101: The White Rabbit Syndrome

Mom Time Management finds sympathy in The White Rabbit of Alice in Wonderland. Moms easily identify with his refrain “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late for an important date!” His scattered timetable draws Alice into a rabbit hole. Although her adventures made her famous, the rabbit remains a symbol of purposeless hurry.

Like the White Rabbit, when we are in a hurry, we drag others, often our children, into frenetic chaos. Although life is full of responsibilities including arriving on time, the “adventure” of being late throws an unnecessary stress on the whole family. We can stop it by working on time management.

Time management for moms is a completely different exercise than in any other role. We juggle all schedules, do laundry, make sure dinner is on the table, and prepare work, clothes and lunches for the next day. So, when we discuss time management as moms, we automatically assume multi-tasking, and coordinating on the level of an Olympic meet – without the White Rabbit to help.

While mom time management is a daunting task, it’s not impossible. Beyond the trite but patronizing tips of “keep a calendar at all times” and “hold family meetings to plan the week”, let’s discuss a working definition of time management and then three ways to begin the process of managing time.

What it is…

Although time management is often discussed in terms of productivity and success, moms can toss that definition out the window. Productivity during the day may mean that we actually have one made bed in the house. Success may mean that no one ended up in the hospital. So, time management “mom style” needs a foundation that works for any mom, anywhere.

Here are three real tips to begin finding your own mom mojo with time.

The Intentional “Yes”
This one is easy. We do it all the time. But thinking through WHY we’re saying yes, becomes a critical skill toward time management. Yes to one sport for every kid or yes to dinners at home every night? There is no “right” answer, just “right” answers for each family. We can’t say yes to everything or we follow the White Rabbit into the crisis of life becoming too big, as Alice did, ironically bursting out of a house. It’s all too much. When we say yes to something, we say no to other things…

The Wise “No”
Mom time management is all about making the hard calls and tough decisions. Knowing when to say “no” is both art and learned skill. Is it okay for one kid to sign up for football when it’s a 5 night a week practice and there are 2 other kids who want art lessons or swim team opportunities as well? Many moms would plaster a smile of agreement and spend the next 3 months in chauffer purgatory, berating themselves and their kids that they can’t “be everywhere all the time”. Wise “no’s” mean it’s okay to tell a kid “no”, “not right now”, or “can we compromise?”

The Empowered Flow
“Flow” is when life has a rhythm and it feels like there is “enough” instead of “never enough”. It is a place of power and peace. It often requires that mom reconsider the schedule, pace, and values of family life and slowly begin to order the days to align with what’s most important to her and the family.

When we slow life down focusing on what’s most important to us, mom time management takes on a new level of influence. We are no longer White Rabbits always late. We are women of purpose, and understanding in (some) control of the schedule that keeps us rushing, turning it into a place of peace and power for the whole family.
©2011 The Mom Whisperer

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